The reason I decided to start blogging was because I had a few thoughts I wanted to get down, to record somewhere before I lost them only to have them pop up in a few months again and be annoyed with myself for the lack of originality. Those ideas have now been recorded, at least the ones I remember. I hoped this would make way for new thoughts, like some sort of lightning rod.
People who know me would say I've a compelling narrator, a competent orator, and generally an all-round adequate communicator. They're likely to say other things, which might not particularly relevant at this time: that I am merciless at Halo, have a head for utterly worthless trivia, and that I am boring as fuck.
Actually, let's explore that last one.
My stories don't go anywhere, nothing interesting happens to me. The terrible shame is that I didn't notice this early on in life and make a decision to work on it. I could heave learned to play an instrument, studied more, had a greater social life, worked harder. I remember when some tweenage guitarist called Nathan Cavalieri was earning accolades for his great skills. He was may age! Maybe a little younger! Why wasn't I "Jammin' with the Cats"? Ok, so the kid's career when nowhere, maybe because being a young and talented guitarist can't hide the fact that no one gives a shit about old-school Rhythm & Blues anymore unless it's central to the adventures of Jake and Elwood on the run from the police/national guard/Nazis.
Shouldn't my envy have been my first hint that I wasn't getting everything I wanted out of life and should work harder? Apparently I can't take a hint. My wife can attest to that - it took about four months of heavily dropped hints for her to get my attention. I think if I'd been any slower on the uptake she would eventually have led me to my bedroom, thrown off her clothes and screamed "take me!".
I might be overstating my own appeal a little bit, but it's true in spirit if not in fact. Besides, this is my blog and I can be an object of frenzied desire if I want.
This circuitous string of half-thoughts brings me neatly back to my point. See? I can't even segue properly! I stay relentlessly on track even when I'm shamelessly padding! If I were a Family Guy writer Seth MacFarlane would probably come down to my office shaking his head sadly and ask why all my episodes were only eight minutes long. Then he would go back to tweeting about how all album covers have hidden penises on them if you look hard enough.
Anyway, the point I was making is tha- hmm, this Appletiser sample I got today is refreshing and all but I don't see me buying this product. Nice try, Coca-Cola Amatil.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I have thoughts, and I have ideas, but they're so stock and expected that there doesn't seem to be any point in expanding on them. I wanted to be a writer but I have nothing to write. I considered being a novelist, but that requires creativity and at least a modicum of originality. I considered being James Cameron since he doesn't need any originality to make money, but nobody likes him.
Deep down, I'm just not James Cameron.
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